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A Letter from the North Pole


jaminjimlp
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                   A Letter from the North Pole

 I regret to inform you that, effective  immediately, I will no
longer serve the States of Georgia, Florida,  Virginia, West Virginia,
North and South Carolina, Tennessee, Mississippi,  Texas,
Alabama, and Arkansas on Christmas Eve. Due to  the
overwhelming current population of the earth, my  contract
was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves
Local 209. As part of the new and better contract I also  get
longer breaks for milk and cookies so keep that in  mind.

   However, I'm certain that your children will be  in good
hands with your local replacement, who happens to be  my
third cousin, Bubba Claus. His side of the family is  from
the South Pole. He shares my goal of delivering toys  to
all the good boys and girls; however, there are a  few
differences between us.

   Differences such  as:

1. There is no danger of the Grinch stealing your  presents
from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and
bumper sticker that reads: "These toys insured by  Smith
and Wesson."

2. Instead of milk and  cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that
children leave an RC cola and  pork rinds [or a moon pie] 
and some deer jerky on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't 
smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have
an  empty spit can handy.

3. Bubba Claus' sleigh  is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin'
coon dogs instead of reindeer. I  made the mistake of
loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time,  and
Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's  fireplace.

4. You won't hear, "On Comet, on Cupid, on  Donner and
Blitzen.." when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll  hear,
"On Earnhardt, on Andretti, on Elliott, and  Petty."
And the car horn of the "General Lee"
5. "Ho, Ho, Ho!" has been replaced by "Yee  Haw!" And you
also are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "GIT-R-DONE!"

6. As required by Southern  highway laws, Bubba Claus'
sleigh does have Yosemite Sam Mud Flaps on the
back with the words "Back  Off."

7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as  "Miracle on
34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be  shown
in your negotiated viewing area. Instead, you'll  see
"Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and the Bandit  IV"
featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of  state
patrol cars crashing into each  other.

   And Finally,

8. Bubba  Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd
make sure you, the  wife, and the kids turn the other way
when he bends over to put  presents under the tree.

Sincerely Yours,
     S.  Claus
 
Just thought I would share this with yall...
Merry Christmas guy's
 
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Dude - IMO he's just poking some fun at southern stereotypes (and if he's actually from Georgia) at himself as well. So no harm intended.

 

Now if I did that about my relatives - wooo they get upset - being from Canada and all. :D

 

Grabbing the AR and some deer jerky (not the fornicating kind mind you) sounds like a good day at the range. :)

 

-B

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Wow! That was unnecessarily racist.

What are the next topics of discussion? Religion or politics?

 

Most people that live in the south are not like that stereotype.

I am from south of Atlanta and trust me, we ware this like a badge of honer not an offence. sorry if it bothered you or anyone else. Hey, we all should be able to laugh at our selves.

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I moved this topic to the lounge.

 

You may have noticed that the OP lives in Georgia so I expect his intentions are innocent and he's only poking fun at himself and southern stereotypes in general. Let's not take it too seriously.

 

... and btw BillBee..... I'm Canadian. Anything you want to say??? You wanna piece of me???  :P :P

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I moved this topic to the lounge.

 

You may have noticed that the OP lives in Georgia so I expect his intentions are innocent and he's only poking fun at himself and southern stereotypes in general. Let's not take it too seriously.

 

... and btw BillBee..... I'm Canadian. Anything you want to say??? You wanna piece of me???  :P :P

I never been to the lounge.... ey! ;)  

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I moved this topic to the lounge.

 

You may have noticed that the OP lives in Georgia so I expect his intentions are innocent and he's only poking fun at himself and southern stereotypes in general. Let's not take it too seriously.

 

... and btw BillBee..... I'm Canadian. Anything you want to say??? You wanna piece of me???  :P :P

 

Love Canada (Don Cherry and Peter Puck) - My pop was from a lil place outside of Hamilton. Pretty much grew up there working on my uncle's farm - I still sweat OV!

 

BTW: you forgot the "Eh?"

 

-B

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