jaminjimlp Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 A Letter from the North Pole I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer serve the States of Georgia, Florida, Virginia, West Virginia,North and South Carolina, Tennessee, Mississippi, Texas,Alabama, and Arkansas on Christmas Eve. Due to theoverwhelming current population of the earth, my contractwas renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. As part of the new and better contract I also getlonger breaks for milk and cookies so keep that in mind. However, I'm certain that your children will be in goodhands with your local replacement, who happens to be mythird cousin, Bubba Claus. His side of the family is fromthe South Pole. He shares my goal of delivering toys toall the good boys and girls; however, there are a fewdifferences between us. Differences such as:1. There is no danger of the Grinch stealing your presentsfrom Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh andbumper sticker that reads: "These toys insured by Smithand Wesson."2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers thatchildren leave an RC cola and pork rinds [or a moon pie] and some deer jerky on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an empty spit can handy.3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin'coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake ofloaning him a couple of my reindeer one time, andBlitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace.4. You won't hear, "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner andBlitzen.." when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear,"On Earnhardt, on Andretti, on Elliott, and Petty."And the car horn of the "General Lee"5. "Ho, Ho, Ho!" has been replaced by "Yee Haw!" And youalso are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "GIT-R-DONE!"6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus'sleigh does have Yosemite Sam Mud Flaps on theback with the words "Back Off."7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shownin your negotiated viewing area. Instead, you'll see"Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and the Bandit IV"featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of statepatrol cars crashing into each other. And Finally,8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'dmake sure you, the wife, and the kids turn the other waywhen he bends over to put presents under the tree.Sincerely Yours, S. Claus Just thought I would share this with yall... Merry Christmas guy's 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jar1zx Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 Wow! That was unnecessarily racist. What are the next topics of discussion? Religion or politics? Most people that live in the south are not like that stereotype. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jar1zx Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 Don't see the leave forum option on my phone. Guess I can take care of that later when I get to my pc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillBee Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 Dude - IMO he's just poking some fun at southern stereotypes (and if he's actually from Georgia) at himself as well. So no harm intended. Now if I did that about my relatives - wooo they get upset - being from Canada and all. :D Grabbing the AR and some deer jerky (not the fornicating kind mind you) sounds like a good day at the range. :) -B Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaminjimlp Posted December 10, 2015 Author Share Posted December 10, 2015 Wow! That was unnecessarily racist. What are the next topics of discussion? Religion or politics? Most people that live in the south are not like that stereotype. I am from south of Atlanta and trust me, we ware this like a badge of honer not an offence. sorry if it bothered you or anyone else. Hey, we all should be able to laugh at our selves. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silverhead Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 I moved this topic to the lounge. You may have noticed that the OP lives in Georgia so I expect his intentions are innocent and he's only poking fun at himself and southern stereotypes in general. Let's not take it too seriously. ... and btw BillBee..... I'm Canadian. Anything you want to say??? You wanna piece of me??? :P :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaminjimlp Posted December 10, 2015 Author Share Posted December 10, 2015 I moved this topic to the lounge. You may have noticed that the OP lives in Georgia so I expect his intentions are innocent and he's only poking fun at himself and southern stereotypes in general. Let's not take it too seriously. ... and btw BillBee..... I'm Canadian. Anything you want to say??? You wanna piece of me??? :P :P I never been to the lounge.... ey! ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillBee Posted December 10, 2015 Share Posted December 10, 2015 I moved this topic to the lounge. You may have noticed that the OP lives in Georgia so I expect his intentions are innocent and he's only poking fun at himself and southern stereotypes in general. Let's not take it too seriously. ... and btw BillBee..... I'm Canadian. Anything you want to say??? You wanna piece of me??? :P :P Love Canada (Don Cherry and Peter Puck) - My pop was from a lil place outside of Hamilton. Pretty much grew up there working on my uncle's farm - I still sweat OV! BTW: you forgot the "Eh?" -B Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.