I believe they are the same presets, and the 500 patches do indeed work with the 500X. When opening with the Edit software, just change it to view all files (*.*) OR change the file extension (which I've not yet done).
All is right again with the world! I called Guitar Center and they were happy to exchange the first one. I took the new one home, hooked up the USB, updated the flash with Monkey just like it's supposed to, started the Edit Software and BAM! Everything works perfectly!
So, it was a faulty original unit. Who'da thunk it?
I'm marking this thread as SOLVED!
Thanks to Guitar Center and to everyone here that offered their expertise and suggestions. There is a great wealth of experience and knowledge here!
djspleen's post in Hd500x Presets was marked as the answer