I struggled wiht this for years, until I found an article on the POD community about a thing call The Fletcher-Munson study. In this study they determined/realized that as you increase volume the "eq curve" flattens out. Once I read the study, it changed everything about how I set up me effects. What I do as a rule of thumb that works out pretty well is to scoop the upper mid and boost the high. It doesn't soud as sweet at home, but works on stage. The article on the POD site suggested creating 2 patches for each voice, on for home and one for live. I only write one patch and live with it.

I also have the convienience of a PA in my practice room, so I write a patch and crank it up (after warning my wife that a sound check is occuring). This is something else that the article suggested if you have the luxury of being some where that you can push the volume.

I am sorry that I can't remember the link to the article, but it was somewhere on the POD site. You can search the NET and you will find it, but the POD article related to setting your effects.

As I mnetioned, I struggled with this for years especially since the advent of digital effects, read about it and your problem will be 100% solved.

Blessings, Strato