Honestly, I would recommend plugging it 1/4" into a DI(or two). I don't always get a good level from XLR for some reason, but the unbalanced always works as expected.
I keep my 1/4" output set to line if I'm going into DI. Amp is for amp.
The output mode Studio/Direct is for going into a recording interface or PA, like you are probably going to do. The amp output mode disables some of the Cabinet settings in the amp models, but studio/direct retains all of that processing and its controls.
As for the XLR ground/lift, the rule of thumb is always start it at ground, and use lift only if there is a ground loop hum.
And for your home use, you can plug any speakers in that you have available, but keep in mind that desktop speakers will not have the same transparency of studio monitors, or even a powered PA. You can go a little cheaper with an entry level set of mixing cans(I use AKG K240s semi-open over-ear headphones, which work great).
When playing live, I use a DI to the board if in-ears or decent floor wedges are available. If not, I plug direct into a Tech21 Power Engine, and put a microphone on it. That lets me monitor what's going to the board, so I know roughly how it's going to sound in the house. Plugging into a DI, and using a powered PA for your monitor from the DI box is another option, but only if you trust the speaker you're listening through. The Power Engine isn't truly FRFR, but I have used it enough that I can gauge what the house is getting compared to what I will hear.